Monday, 08 February 2010

  • I'm suppose to hate Valentine's Day, right?



    So whether we like it or not, Valentine's Day is crashing down upon us next Sunday.

    As many of you know, this "holiday" is not one of my favourites for various reasons which I will list out here, here and here.  For the past 22 years of my life, I have been able to avoid this occasion and not to sound cynical, bitter, smug or overly independent, but the idea of being single on Valentine's didn't bother me at all.  I suppose this is also what happens when the majority of your past romantical trysts occurs over the summer and lasts as long as Tara Reid's movie career.

    Then what happens?

    I go and find myself not only in a relationship whose longetivity seems more promising than a D-List Celeb's career, but also one that coincides with, yes, V-Day. 

    What's a girl to do? On one hand, I am slightly tempted to celebrate this day to see what all the fuss and commotion is about.  Perhaps, even bag some chocolates, flowers, and pretty shiny trinkets while in the process of doing so (hahaha just keeding!).  But on the other hand, it's Valentine's Day - a day that I have repeatedly reminded myself in the past to never take part in.

    With this said, some part of me is relieved that this year, Valentine's Day also falls on the same day as Chinese New Year.  This takes the pressure off a bit since it becomes an excuse to avoid the former holiday.  Plus, red pocket monies?! Booyeah!

    But I think what it really boils down to is the question of "what exactly I am suppose to do if I were to celebrate this Hallmark-invented holiday?"  Is it even possible to avoid all the commericalisim and clichés that this day is saturated with?

    I do not want a giant plush teddy bear. Kthanks.
    *edit*
    lol...




Saturday, 06 February 2010

  • The Post in which I Discover that I'm No Longer the Giant that I Once Proclaimed to Be... Sadness.


      

    I would like to announce to the blogosphere that i, Tambo001, am currently in the midst of an identity crisis.

    MY LIFE HAS BEEN THROWN INTO UTTER CHAOS! CHAOS I TELL YOU! CHAOOSSSSS!!!!

    *waves fists furiously in the air*

    After spending most of my life towering over half the Asian population and being called out by friends' 80-year-old grandmas for being the tallest asian girl that they've ever laid eyes upon, i was finally coming to terms with being a giant.  In fact, i was sort of beginning to relish in telling people that i was "5'9".  Thanks to my height, i stood out - both literally and figuratively.  Plus, you know, my height was going to take me places - mainly involving Yao Ming, our future kids, the 2032 Olympic basketball games and subsequent endorsement deals from Nike and Gatorade. Can you say Cha-Ching?!!

    Essentially, i had gotten used to the view from above...

    ... that is, until about a month ago when my height became the subject of dispute.  

    Actually, the original dispute was over Future Dr. Awesome's true height.  But since Future Dr. Awesome is taller than me by at least an inch (yeah i know, score one for Tambo001 - dashing, smart, asian and taller than me!) - then by default, my height was also up for debate.

    You see, according to my amazing guesstimation skills, i would say that Future Dr. Awesome is around 5'10.  However, it appears that others would beg to differ, suggesting that he is actually only 5'9... tops.

    So if we step back for a moment and do the math here; if Future Dr. Awesome is indeed 5'9 and he is at least an inch taller than me, then that puts me at what? 5'8?  Or god forbid.... 5'7?!!!!

    Say it ain't so!

    Anyway, since this unpleasant discovery, i've been second-guessing my height.  I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!!!!

    Yeah, yeah... so many of you may shrug this off and tell me to quit being such a drama queen.  But do you know what being hit by this truckload of a discovery feels like to me?

    Basically, it's akin to finding out that your biological father is not only your lifelong archenemy, but was also the one who cut off your hand AND ON TOP OF THAT, also discovering that the girl you made out with is in fact your sister*.

    Tragic.

    Excuse me, while i go dig out my pair of heels now.




    *If you got that reference, you're awesome.  My boyfriend better think it's awesome too.

Thursday, 04 February 2010

  • Things They Should Teach in School: The Art and Science of Bullshitting...



    Within the past several weeks, I have been falling deeper and deeper into this abyss called Sleep Deprivation (also referred to as School Pwns My Life 4eva).  On the other hand, during this same time period, I have probably also quickly risen to become Starbucks' most favourite customer.  Mmm... caffeinated goodness.

    I'm so tired that I could probably fall asleep on someone at any given moment.  My new life slogan?  Narcolepsy is sexy.  Thank Liza Minnelli that I don't drool... excessively anyways. 

    And do you know what would cure my almost-narcoleptic state?  No, it's not getting more sleep or having better time management skills.  Rather, it's learning the art and science of bullshitting.  Yes folks, if you're well-versed in the form of bullshitting, you can get away with pretty much anything.

    Forget learning how to derive tangents or memorizing all the elements in the periodic table because the truth is that unless you become a mathematician, a chemist or a drug dealer, ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED BACK IN SCHOOL WILL BE RENDERED USELESS ONCE YOU GRADUATE.

    Instead of taking pointless subjects like say... gym, there should have been courses that taught us how to bullshit our way through conversations, classes, seminars, interviews etc.  Because the fact of the matter is that years later, not only can I still not dribble a ball properly, but I'm also spending way too many late nights at the library trying to pull together a half-decent presentation for the next day (thank goodness for concealer).  This never happens to the dude who is always on Facebook and NOT paying attention in class but can still hash out a decent response when asked a question by the prof.  And you know why?  Because he knows how to bullshit effectively.

    So here's to bullshitting, minimized academic workload and maximized precious sleeptime! Who's with me?!!